Accidentals: Vulnerability in Gestures and Giving

Photo by Jeremy Lishner on Unsplash

Turns out, as humans, we highly value vulnerability. Making ourselves more vulnerable communicates being friendly, welcoming, even generous. It creates a sense of openness where it is culturally appropriate i.e. not viewed as being weak or overly blunt. Even our greetings, can be viewed as invites of openness.

If we look closely at greetings from a martial stand point, we find that the tiny gestures we make are inadvisable for self protection. A gentle hand wave for instance, takes one of our hands outside our power zone (the triangular area right in front of our torso), and may exposes our rib cages, making us physically prone to rib damage in a physical conflict.

Another example is the bow. When we bow, the head moves closer to the greeted party's personal space, perhaps within their grasp even. This could be fatal in a confrontation as our heads are our most vital asset. Notice also that when we bow, our line of sight is hindered, where our ability to detect potential threats is obstructed. This is also true when somebody prostrates, where the head is directly on the floor. That one can be especially lethal if kicks are on the table.

We can see similar phenomenon in the realm of nobility: when gentlemen propose "on bended knee" and ladies greet by "curtsy." Both present mobility difficulties where one of two legs are indisposed making the ability to move quickly out of harm's way a challenge.

When both hands come together, they can convey peace. When the two hands meet, as seen in greetings for divinity, both hands are symbolically tied. Some traditional Chinese martial school greetings take this further, where one hand covers the other's fist, communicating a desire to suppress violence.

In all of these we communicate openness to a possibility of friendship. We willingly make ourselves vulnerable to communicate peace.

This also extends to values beyond peace, important and cherished like symbolically in the act of giving. Giving takes away from what we have, often financially... often temporarily. Thus, by giving, we put ourselves in a more vulnerable position. We relinquish our time... or money. In a sense, what makes us generous, is not the act of giving, but the willingness to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability seems to be engrained in communication tools passed down over generations. We value honesty, being authentic, and others. It is when we drop our walls that, as species, we form true bonds.